The Diary of Queen Mothy |
My Mother, the American written @ 1:13 PM on November 25, 2002 This is the second post of the day... Conversation of the Day: Mom: "This is really pissing me off, Sam. Why do you have to have this damned Gryffindor scarf?" Me: "Because I want one! Think how cool I'll look on campus when Brian and me have Gryffindor scarves! Why? What's the deal?" Mom: "This guy I bought it off of ebay wants $26, and then he jacked it up to $50 for shipping, and now he's saying he wants 3% for profit. I'm cancelling. Damned Brits." Me: "WHAT?!" Mom: "You heard me. This is ridiculous. Thank God I haven't given him my credit card number." Me: "Well, don't buy it off a British vendor. Get an American seller if the pounds vs. dollars conversion is so difficult." Mom: "Except the American scarves are different from the British versions. The American scarf has the HP logo on it while the British one has the actual Gryffindor crest on it." Me: "Well, buy the American version, and I'll buy the patch and sew it on." Mom: "This is so ridiculous. Those fricking Brits never quit." Me: "What do you mean? Don't you be starting another war, Mom." Mom: "They think just because we're Americans we have all the money in the world. They think they can overcharge us... just because they lost the war." Me: (laughing) "Twice." Mom: "That's right! Twice! They're overcharging us out of spite for losing two wars. They have never stopped overtaxing us, have they?! I'm ready to kick this Simon guy's ass. No taxation without representation!" Me: "Spoken like a true American, Mom, now be sure you get me that scarf." Mom: "No wonder we went to war. I don't blame the colonials one bit. $50 for a Harry Potter scarf. I mean, really, it's no wonder the Americans were so pissed in 1776. It was probably $50 fricking dollars for a pot of tea in Boston at the time. Okay... I have to go buy this friggin' turkey now... after I pet Pierre. $50 for a Gryffindor scarf... puh..."
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