The Diary of Queen Mothy |
The Pain Continues written @ 6:14 PM on February 09, 2002 There was a time when I received college acceptance letters, and Dad would be so happy for me. He would smile that characteristic smile of pride and see that I was happy, too, as my dreams were about to come true. Today I received a card from the dean of the Columbus College of Art and Design congratulating me on my acceptance into the college. I pretended I wasn't looking as Mom pushed it and a card from the principal of my high school congratulating me on my portfolio making it to the national level of Scholastics under his eyes at dinner time. I saw out of the corner of my eye how he read them and studied them critically like he always did. And he pushed them across the table, and never said a word or even lifted his eyes to me. They might have been advertisements to things he did not need for all he seemed to care. It has been one week and one day since we have last spoken. This is the longest time I've ever gone without talking to him, and it's been tough. But he's content on letting his whole life slip away without a thought at all. He has everything, and he think he has nothing. Last night he made a comment like, "I'm trying to get fired from my work." After all the hell my family has been through with him trying to keep jobs in the past, this hurt more than anything else. It was like the stab of a knife through my heart. My heart has been broken. I fight tears with all my being and still they come. It's so hard to talk, and my mother is caught in the crossfire. She's hurting so much. Oh God... Please let this end.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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