The Diary of Queen Mothy |
20 Strangers in the House written @ 3:30 PM on July 14, 2003 A lot has been happening since last time I wrote. For one thing, Dad moved out. He tried to do it subtley, but as I watch everything around the house like a hawk these days in light of recent paranormal events, he didn't succeed in pulling that fast one by me. In fact, it was very sad. The biggest clue that he was about to leave (with Mom and Jonathan on vacation and all) was that he was watching me last Thursday morning as I gathered tools and supplies together before heading out to work, as if I were performing some great elaborate ritual I had been doing for years which he had only just come to notice. Then, before I walked out the door, he stopped me and asked for a hug. Highly unnatural, but I made it appear as if it were a slight detail I had forgotten in the ritual. He nearly choked me to death, he hugged me so hard. And then as he said, "Have a good day," as he began to break down. I pretended as if I did not notice the quivering in his voice, or how his eyes watered. I was out the door. I couldn't tolerate being in his presence and listening to him cry again. But that one small event succeeded in ruining the next two days. On Thursday I was just plain sad as the full weight of that small act crushed me. At work I sat alone in the dark backstage and cried. On Friday I was in a rage. I felt such anger like I had never felt before in my entire life. Everything horrible that ever went wrong for me over the past three years swept me away like a rip tide. I was this great fountain of fury, a rich beacon of negative energy. I felt evil. I wanted to destroy things. I felt without hope or happiness or God. All that rage went away, however, when Kat and Christine came over Friday night, the evening before we went to visit Ashley at Wooster. Everyday I count my blessings as far as friends go; without them, I'd be a mess. And that's the honest truth. I don't have much time to devote to this entry, so I will get to the point fast. The spirits that invaded my house from the 4th of July are still there. They've moved to other parts of the house, have mostly concentrated themselves in the living room, but some are now moving upstairs. A few have dared cross into my room, and that's something few spirits have done in the past. They are getting bold. There is definitely a power struggle between two main factions of ghosts in the house. Some of them have taken a vague interest in me, now that I've openly acknowledged them, but I have a feeling that they've jot me down as a tool in their books to get something-- but I don't know what. One or two of them have followed me to work this morning and are currently standing over my shoulder; sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing if they are Dolan or someone else, but today I'm almost positive whoever was with me was not simply Dolan. The female leader of one of the factions, I have noticed, has "spies" in her charge. Seems as though the spirits in the house are following members of the posse home. I'm trying to figure out what they want. Ashley says many of them are confused, possibly don't know they are dead. I can understand that. Some of them simply want to communicate; I can do that. But I cannot tolerate being a pawn between the two main factions, and until I know which ones belong to which faction, I refuse to communicate. I can't ask Dolan to drive them out. As it stands, he's the one who keeps them out of my room, except for a few who only linger by the threshold and my closet. All I know is there are more than 20 ghosts in the house right now. It's changing the currents of energy. My cats are bugging out more often; I could swear I physically heard one tell Smokey to quit meowing the other day. Dolan is urging caution; I don't think he wants me talking to them at all. What kind of concerns me is that for the next two days, while Dad is out of town on business, my two cats and I are the only living mortals in the house. And that gives me a rather uncomfortable feeling. Because I have a feeling the female leader of the-- shall we say-- less favorable faction knows this and is ready to hatch her plan, whatever the hell it is. I have more to write but I need to get to my second job now. Hopefully I'll be home before 9pm. If anyone needs to get a hold of me, call my cell.
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