The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Brian's Woes and the 12 Definitions for Unicorn written @ 9:26 PM on December 04, 2002 2nd Entry of the Day... Brian's dorm room was broken into today, and his hard drive and television were stolen. He called me just before dinner in hysterics and ready to cry. I told him to call the DPS and not to touch anything in the room so the police could take finger prints. I went over and inspected the room-- it was all too Hermione combined with the knowledge gained from CSI-- and saw that his window was not set quite right in the frame (meaning the assholes came through the window), and there were finger prints in the dust on his monitor and keyboard. Interestingly enough, his roommate had moved out recently, and since the general disarray of the room suggested the crooks were after very specific things, we quickly narrowed down the suspects to his nasty roommate and his stoner cronies. But who knows? Brian had, after all, not locked his door because the schmuck lost his room key in the theater's dressing room and Lord knows how long the window was unlocked since the summer. The police came and "took care of things." I'm anticipating that Brian will end up in the police reports in the next issue of The Northerner on campus later this week. *** In other news, I came across an interesting find in- what doya know-- a dictionary. You see, there is this huge muthafucka of a dictionary in the my 2-D Design class. It's called the 20th Century Dictionary Unabridged (like, how do you fucking abridge a dictionary?), and not only did it have every word of the English language-- including medical terms-- it had every political map for each state and country, the complete works of William Shakespeare with a two paragraph summary of each work, an alphabetized list of names from the Bible plus their origins and meanings, the history of Canada, and just all sorts of useless information that you always wanted to know. Curious, I looked up my favorite word: no, not "fuck," "unicorn" of course! And you wouldn't believe it. TWELVE FUCKING DEFINITIONS OF THE WORD UNICORN. When I go for my final exam on Monday, I'm going to copy them all down and post them here. One of the definitions was like, "a species of beetle native to Amazonia" and shit like that. It was incredible. But then I realized something else... 12 definitions of unicorn... 12 days of Christmas... "12th Night," performed in the theater now... Dec. 4, a common denominator of 12... Dec. 12, my last exam (math, ugh...) 12 hour interlude between seeing my roommate's drunk friend Channel 12, "Survivor" I mean, the list goes on and on! I;m beginning to think this is an omen of some sort. Oh yeah. And html sucks ass.
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