The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Heaven's Small Population written @ 11:16 PM on February 02, 2003 I went to church today on my own, and for someone who is a self-proclaimed "part-time Catholic," I was pretty proud of myself. Actually, I went for three reasons. One, I felt the need to due to a family crisis. Two, I felt it was time to begin reclaiming fractions of my soul one mass at a time. Three, my friend Trisha had just dumped her boyfiend Andrew, who lives on the floor below me, and she needed moral support. I told you I'm the next Mother Theresa. Anyhoo, I've noticed lately that I get slowly a little bit more emotional every time I go to mass these days. No matter what the hell the priest is talking about, I always related the unrelated topics to my personal problems, and then I get all teary eyed and think, "Jesus Christ, that's the most beautiful thing I ever heard!" Today the priest was talking about an old memory of one Christmas when someone stole the Baby Jesus out of the manger display in the middle of a church, and once more, I somehow related this to some lost childhood of mine and got all teary eyed... I hope you guys are laughing at this point. Anyway, this little congregation of about 20 people (Catholics are a minority in this Baptist-run corner of NKU) have a tradition to go out to Pizza Hut where the Archdiocese gives money to buy us all free pizza. So it was food, fellowship, and fun with other folks from around school and the priest, who is a really down to earth, cultured, good humored individual. He told us a joke, and this joke is why I'm writing tonight. He said: "One day this new group of people, newly dead Catholics, stand clustered around the Gates of Heaven. Saint Peter comes out with a checklist and announces, 'OK, you folks are all good to go. Just step across these gates now.' They do, and they are all oohing and ahhing and the marvels of Heaven because it's so beautiful. " 'OK,' Saint Peter explains, 'now you all have to walk down a couple of blocks straight ahead. But I have to warn you, you have to be very, very quiet and not make a sound and tip-toe until you've reached the very end.' "Puzzled, the group of Catholics obey anyway, and they tip-toe absolutely silently down a couple of blocks. When they reached the other side, one guy turns to another and asks, "I don't get it, why did we have to be so quiet.' "Saint Peter turned to them and said, 'Well, I'll tell you, those Baptists think they're the only ones here.'" LOL I found that really amusing. Consequently, you could also change the punchline to Jews, Calvinists, Methodists, Born Agains, or hell, even Catholics. I just thought I'd spread the joys that come with laughter this evening.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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