The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Attack of the Killer Felines! written @ 6:35 PM on November 02, 2004 At about 12:05pm today I exercised my American right to vote one jackhole in place of another. In a sea of Republicans, someone had to stand up for the John Squared, and by God, I'm ready for a regime change. I also voted for every school levy (if they don't pass, art and music and theatre are the first ones to go-- is that occupational discrimination, by the way? Anyone know?) and every Democrat on the board. It was empowering. And I like my "Kiss me, I voted" sticker. When I got home I realized that for the past twenty-four hours since I've been home, my cats had been staring intently into the empty fireplace. I noticed a chittering sound coming from inside, and I looked to see if there was anything hiding under the grate and found nothing. But the twittering continued, alas, and once more I abandoned my fruitless studying of Chinese art to investigate. It looked like a mouse at first, but upon closer inspection I saw that it was a starling bird that was trapped in my fireplace. And according to my cats it was a meal on wheels. Birds have a fantastic record of finding their way inside my house, but this time I was determined to make sure the wild bird didn't go flapping all over my house like the last sparrow... and the chipmunk. "Okay, Sam, if I was the Crocodile Hunter, what would I do? Answer: probably exclaim, 'Crickey! Look at its wingspan.'" Which I did. But that part comes later in the story. I decided that the best thing to do was to put on two pairs of gloves (because birds carry bubonic plague and West Nile occasionally, thank you very much Discovery Channel), and retrieved a towel, a clothes hanger, and a pool net. One of these, I figured, would catch the bird. I talk to the bird and calmed it down a little. It was remarkably tame. And I used the hanger to coax it toward the net. All of a sudden it jumped out at me and took to flight in my house. My cats went flippin' ballistic. They began chasing it all over the first floor, me following them armed with my net and my clothes hanger. Honestly, I wish I had pictures. My yelling at the cats to "Don't eat it, don't eat it!" was lost on then and frightened the bird more. Pierre made a flying leap and batted the starling to the carpet, and finally I caught the bird with the net and shooed the killer felines away. I picked up the bird and, really, it was the coolest thing I have ever seen. Have any of you ever held a wild bird in your hands? It seemed calm but it may have been ready to have a heart attack, for all I know. I went out back and set it free. "Yay, I did my good deeds for the day. I voted for Kerry and helped save the animals," exclaimed a jubilant I. The losers in the story were poor Smokey and Pierre. I gave them cat treats to appease their disappointed looks. Welp, it's back to studying...
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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