The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Another Desperate Plea to the Dieties of Art written @ 5:40 PM on January 17, 2002 Well, I found out I received a 100% on my journalism exam today. As for the others, I don't know. I took the world history and audio/video exam today. They were okay. I didn't really study for world history-- I got as far as Egypt and Mesopotamia and quit. Welp, it's in fate's hands now, isn't it? Oh well. Tomorrow I have my AP Art and Geology exam. I shouldn't do too bad, unless my vision is completely gone in art. *rolling eyes* Which reminds me, I have to finish my art college applications for RISD and CCAD. RISD is my first choice school, the college I wanted to go to since the third grade. Ugh, you should have seen how they evaluated my portfolio at National Portfolio Day. I had this elderly, uppity woman from RISD who acted holier than thou and rounded all her vowels. Out of the 15 or so pieces I brought, she liked only one of them but even that I "could have extended to the edges of the canvas to give it a watercolor effect." **sigh** And then when she was finished evaluating my portfolio, she asked if I had visited the school. I said I had, just this past August. And then to win hopelessly fatal brownie points, I added in a meek voice, "Well, I've been wanting to go to this school for, like, a long time. Since the third grade when my grandmother and uncle told me about it." She smiled at me and said, "Really?" "Yeah. I always thought that if I was to become an artist that this would be the school I should go to. I thought I would always be happy if my portfolio was good enough to be considered for RISD, and nothing would matter after that." God, I must have sounded so desperate. She gave me one of those pretend I-understand-perfectly smiles and said, "Well, best of luck to you. I hope to receive your application." Yeah, right. She was probably thinking, God, where exactly do these people come from? And I have this awful feeling RISD going to reject me. I hope I'm just being paranoid. But it's almost a sixth sense, you know? What chance do I really have? You know something? All through elementary school, junior high, and high school I was considered the best artist. Students' jaws used to drop to the floor in awe of my work. And I always told myself not to get used to that sort of praise because it would never last. Not if you got into an art college. And especially not if you were accepted to RISD. I just feel like my dreams have been futile and that I've only been chasing unicorns. God. Please prove me wrong.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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