The Diary of Queen Mothy |
The Suffering Artist written @ 4:25 PM on January 13, 2002 My fingers feel as stiff as peanut brittle. Sometime soon I'm going to be able to break each one off and gnaw on them. Why, you ask? Simple. Let's face it: I'm a sore loser. Jacob should not have been chosen as a finalist in that contest (although it wasn't a total loss; I was named an honorable mention in my rejection letter). So I decided to "punish" myself for it, as I can gather my loss in the contest only means that I've been slacking to the point where my work has become shitty. What did I do, dare you ask? Simple. Friday= 4 hours Saturday = 10 hours Sunday= 6 hours Twenty hours of pure artistic labor. All weekend. Twenty minutes each day to check e-mail. One hour each day to eat dinner, plus added time for snacks, answering phone calls, etc. But other than that? TWENTY BONE-CRUNCHING HOURS SPENT DOING ARTWORK! I completed two 3x5 paintings for my AP Art concentration. I have one more to go before three completed assignments are due Tuesday in class. I dare someone to tell me that this did not take dedication and that I am completely insane. (Yes, I am insane. I realize that. Thank you.) It was like meditation. Twenty hours when I completely zoned out and concentrated on the mother of all visual problems. All I can remember this weekend is the grain of masonite board, cloudy gray water, measures of music drifting through my brain, and colors. Colors . . . Colors. . . Colors. It was like an LSD high! Of course, I realize that I was completely bonkers and not in my right state of mind (I actually should have been studying for my semester exams that start Wednesday), but I think I finally got my drive and my artistic mojo back. And for that, I am happy. I only wish the weekend was longer so I could continue. But now... I really should start cracking the books. Oh my God, I am so pathetic I shake my head at MYSELF at times...
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