The Diary of Queen Mothy |
A Bit of Changing written @ 10:09 PM on August 31, 2003 I feel like changing. Changing to what, you may ask? I don't know. I feel like it's time to change again. Maybe refocus my life. Maybe act a little more selfish in some areas and a little less in others. Reading other people's diaries at random on diaryland always inspires that. After all, some people have it shittier than most of the people I know (least of all me), and in the grand scheme of things, my problems are extremely petty and the product of my perfectionist tendencies. I've been reading my Sylvia Brown book that I bought from Barnes & Noble lately, and she really puts a lot of things into perspective. Take my perfectionist tendencies, for example. I have realized that the reason why I've been so careful not to fuck up too much in my life is because I'm desperately trying to learn my lessons. I feel like my entire life has been a huge test for something bigger; I have a feeling that when I die, I'm going to have some bigger mission, a task that's greater than what I must accomplish here on earth during life. Does that sound too strange? Well, most people tend to keep their thoughts on this physical plain. Speaking of keeping to your own physical plain, the house is getting busy in the paranormal department again. There's many of the July Gang, but there's also a new cast of characters. I'm thinking about asking Jessica to help me figure out what's going on because there's some conflicting energy that's confusing me. It seems as though Caroline and the Witch are gone, however; I can't tell. The house was relatively quiet when I got home Friday, but word must have spread through the grapevine that I was coming home, so they decided to throw a "welcome back" party. I've learned to tolerate their presence, even adapted to their creepy habit of staring at me while I sleep. Dolan says the worst of it is over; they've finally left me well enough alone. *** I had a nightmare the other night that Heath Ledger was thinking about getting engaged to a girl that wasn't me. I was a bit unhappy about that. *wink* *** I have come to the conclusion that I am a diaryland junkie. I want a Gold membership. But there's a lot of responsibility that comes with having a Gold membership, you know? First of all, I want a new layout. I thought I'd be happy with this, but I'm thinking about starting straight from scratch once more. Secondly, audience is important. It's not that I'm starved for attention or anything, but I love talking to total strangers. I miss my glory days on sixdegrees.com when I was the jovial Princess Gaweebagumba. You guys don't know it, but I helped a lot of people on sixdegrees get through some shit they were dealing with in life, and that gave me a wholesome satisfaction. ... I am just about resolved to get a Gold membership. I'm going to go through all my entries and begin deleting frivolous crap that doesn't matter to me anymore. And then I'm going to redesign my page... Yeah, I'm going to change. And I'm going to start with how I write about my life.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
Latest Entry | Archives | Diaryland |
Profile | Diaryrings | |
Guestbook | E-mail Me | Leave a note |
Art Work (Coming Soon) | Genealogy (Coming Soon) | The-Last-Unicorn.net |