The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Internet Connection in Dorm Down written @ 7:39 PM on January 14, 2003 My internet connection is down in my room, so I'm up in the Kentucky Hall computer lab... feeling insecure... because I feel as though people are constantly looking over my shoulder. But here's the rundown of my week: My grandfather came in this past weekend to drop off an antique dragon desk carved around 1890 for my mom. He also came laden with gifts for me! I was quite happy with the antique unicorn books he spent hours searching for. Beautifully illustrated, and, as always, I was eternally grateful. But I felt as though the main mission of his trip was just for my mother and him to sit around the kitchen table discussing the meddlesome brooding situation of my parents' marriage of 20 years as of this coming July, which is about to go down in flames and no glory. All I could do was shake my head at the pitifulness of it all, as I sat in the dark hallway listening to what was being said downstairs. My mom thinks we should go on vacation to Rhode Island this summer without my dad-- but I just as soon would rather not go on vacation at all. It would be rather weak of me, though, to run from my problems by burying myself in my work, and with that thought came another realization. For some time I have been caring less and becoming very cold and deaf to my family, love of genealogy or no. It had come to the point where I did not care what happened between my parents; I just wanted it to end instead of letting the wound fester, as I often write. But that's weakness. That makes me just as void of hope as both my parents. That makes me like them. And I will not go down that road. I will hold out hope until the very end, perhaps even beyond the moment when the divorce contract is signed. Hope is the creator of strength and solid will. And there is nothing else left for me to do. I'll hold out hope and God will take care of the rest. Suffice to say, I was damned happy to come back to the university. My classes are going to be a royal pain in the ass, however, so whether I like it or not, my personal troubles will be shut away in the wake of the monstrous load of work I have. Here's the rundown of my classes: Honors English: My professor is an older gentleman with a keen appreciation of the arts. Not only are we doing a lot of exploratory writing, which I love, but I can just see the debates on Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter from here! The drawback? A LOT of exploratory writing... Meaning, I'll get burned out at the end of the night and will have no energy for my novels. Fundamentals of Sound Design: It's too soon to tell what turmoil I will be delving into, but I know Terry, my porfessor, is a rather temperamental sort of guy. Great... Main office of the department of theater, I curse thee! 3-D Design: I have the same professor as I had for 2-D last semester, but Nick's a cool guy and is interested in teaching me art of substance. The problem? More of the tedious, technical work of 2-D. I've already had to construct a "perfect foam core box" to act as a mould for a plaster sphere we will be carving out of plaster... Don't ask. Speech: A royal pain in the ass. Enough said. History of Europe up to 1713: Let's put it this way... If you can imagine Professor Snape thirty years older with a dark sense of humor and a gentille Southern disposition, you have my professor. With that said, I think this will be my favorite class. Art Concepts: With 70 people in the class, it'll be another pain in the ass foundations art course for me to swallow. If you haven't already guessed, I'm not in the most mellow of moods at the moment. I have 70 pages of history notes I have to cover tonight, so I need to cut this short. I will say, though, that it's beginning to frustrate me that I'm leading two different lives: the struggling art life, and the struggling theater life. I have no friends in the art department. And my theater friends are so engrossed with themselves that it drains me. I'm not going to bitch about it tonight, though. I have too much to do. And I'm sick of whining, quite frankly. I will leave this entry with this: It's good to have a purpose again, and it's a blessing to be in control of one's own life.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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