The Diary of Queen Mothy |
What do Bruce Willis, Harry Potter, and Gandalf Have In Common? Beats Me written @ 12:39 PM on January 07, 2003 I've never felt so exhausted in my life. For the past two nights I've gone ot bed early and slept and slept like I haven't slept in years, and when I get up after 13 hours or so of sleep, I'm still exhausted and could use five more hours. I don't think it's a case of over-sleeping; I just feel stretched and thin, like my energy is washed up, and signs of the blues are setting in. I am actually looking forward to going back to school and getting away from here. When I go to bed at night, it feels like I am in a nest of negative energy laden with hopelessness. As a result of what I feel like at home, I think that is what turned me into the biggest bitch this break. Guys, I'm sorry for being so horrible the past couple of weeks. There is no excuse for it; I should never be in a bad mood, but it seems like I've used the anger that has built up from home to take it out on you guys. I've made some mistakes this break that I'm not likely to forgive myself for some time. In the end, I just need time by myself that I'm not likely to get. I need to get away from my family, or "family" I should say. When I'm away at college, I feel more in control of my own affairs and not subjected to the emotional battering that has become my very own pet American dysfunctional family. But enough about that. I'm so sick of subjecting my entries to that topic, and I hate inducing pity. I don't want anyone's pity; I just want to get away from what drags me down. I tell you what, though, on the subject of this newly procured sleep habit, I'd just like to add that the dreams I've been having were, for lack of a better phrase, fucked up. The first night, I found myself sitting with the cast of the first "Die Hard" movie, which I've never even seen all the way through, critiquing the final work of the film. All of a sudden the whole setting of the scene changes, and I'm in the movie-- only it's not a movie anymore, it's real life! And the bad guy is hellbent on destroying the world and then-- get this!-- it switches over to a "Harry Potter" meets "Lord of the Rings" battle sequence! So it was Gandalf meets Bruce Willis meets Harry Potter and Hermione Granger! Somewhere in the whole course of the dream, I was elected ringleader of this motley crew (of course), and I don't remember what happened but a lot of cities were destroyed by the time the carnage ceased. Then last night, as a follow-up to the first night's dream, I was with Frodo Baggins at the borders of Mordor. Only Frodo wasn't the Ringbearer; I was. I remember turning to Frodo and saying, "You know, carrying this thing around isn't so bad. I feel just fine. I think that whole falling into the Death Marshes thing way back there was uncalled for on your part." And quite frankly, it was easy to throw that thing into the cracks of Mount Doom, even with Gollum going into conniptions and all the Orcs going berserk! I said to the Orcs, "You guys suck. You're like Darth Vader's cronies: you come in mass numbers but you can't shoot worth a damn." One thing that did happen in the dream that didn't happen in the book, though, was that Mordor crumbled and fell into Hell. I think Aragorn-- who was just as sexy in the dream as he was in the movie-- and I were sitting on a hill watching all this taking place and noting the cool special effects that Satan was using to destroy the Orcs and the Ringwraiths. One of us mentioned popcorn, and I think Gimli went off to find some. Yeah, go figure. Straight from the twisted mind of Sam.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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