The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Artistic Ramblings and How I'm an Overrated Individual written @ 7:59 PM on January 04, 2002 Okay, something is wrong with my diary in that all my paragraph indentations that I made when I updated my entries have been deleted, and I have no idea how to get my paragraphs back. As a result, I apologize for the inconvienience this may cause reading... Believe me, even to my eyes, the entires sounded like the ramblings of an old crone. My day actually turned about pretty good, although I must say, for a three-day school week after the winter break, it sure was a hell of a long week. Journalism class: we critiqued a review written by some chica from another student publication about the connection between Harry Potter and Satanism. Really, this article was laughable. I'll see if I can post this sometime this weekend-- it's fun reading entertainment. World History: I took that Feudal Japan test today. It was short, sweet, and easy. I think I did well on it, considering I just learned about 2,000 years of history in the past two days. It was kind of funny because my friend Christine wants to drop that class because it's driving her nuts and she's not doing so hot. So after school today she confronted Mrs. Smardon about dropping at semester. I waited outside in the hallway because the matter was entirely none of my business... While I was waiting out there, Chen Wu, who is second in our class, peeked into the room and started laughing sickly, "Oh my God, she's going to kill me." Chen, who is currently taking five AP classes and is one of the most popular guys around school, is dropping the class. And he was waiting for his turn to confront his demon, aka Mrs. Smardon. Well, you may not find this funny, but if you knew Chen, you'd think it hilarious. Photography: Screwed around with some assignments on Photoshop. *yawn* Audio/Video: Done work. Went to art to continue my matting quest. *yawn* AP Art: Narrowly completed my matting quest. Whenever I mat my artwork, it makes Ms. Hagedorn so nervous because I natural tendency of screwing up. It's almost so sad it's funny. Lunch? No new gossip to report. Geology: Another one of the Duff-osaurus' rock and soil movies. Dear Lord, if I have to sustain another one of those films, I'm not going to stop myself from falling asleep. AP French: Today we divided up into teams and had a verb conjugating contest. Whoop-dee-do. Katharine and I were on a team and kicked their asses. I really don't care, though. I'm still dropping the class. Back in December, audition material was posted for "Little Shop of Horrors." I, however, have not even thought about my audition piece and materials at all because a) I was way too busy taking care of X-mas presents or b) was on vacation and did not want to do anything that remotely connected to school. My dilemma? Auditions are this coming Monday. I stayed after today to rehearse with Christine, hence looking at the music and the script for the first time, and I daresay I am screwed. We'll see if I can salvage this one. *sigh* But now my eight pieces of artwork are prepared, and I can rest easy. The Overture Awards competition-- this contest is open to all Cincinnati area schools and is mega-huge, mega-prestigious to win. My neighbor won it for the visual arts last year and had her work displayed in the Aaronoff Center for the Arts for a couple months, plus she won scholarships and moolah. It's going to be hard to live up to her standards. I think my work is shit. I feel as though my talents have regressed, or I've somehow fallen behind. My skills aren't where they should be, or remotely where I want them to be. I don't know... It's always been said that you're your own worst critic. My competition is my fellow AP Art peer Jacob, who was never serious about his art until this year, and now he's produced some incredible pieces of work that he's made me jealous of. And I've never felt jealous about any of my peers' art. I'm afraid he might win this one. I'm afraid I won't be able to survive the regional judging. On the other hand, maybe I should just let it go and give someone else the opportunity to let their work be seen. I mean, sure, I want to get ahead in life and am willing to take cut-throat measures to get where I want to be, but maybe I'm doing my patronage to the arts a disservice by not sharing the limelight. I am, after all, an overrated individual. People see me as this mega-talented individual who knows what she wants in life, knows what to go after, and knows where she'll end up. They're so wrong. I dream. Nothing more. I'm just as lost as everyone else; I just pretend to know because by dreaming of my goals in life and doing every little thing that gets me one step closer to those goals, I find some purpose to my life. But life has all but swept me away now. I find myself caring very little about what college I'm accepted to these days. And then even my goals seem unclear. What do I want? Fame? Happiness? Or just a quiet life, a normal life? Ugh. Nah. A normal life? If someone were to fashion a cage for me, it would be the cage of a normal life. Well, Katharine just called a minute ago and informed me she lost my Titanic computer game-- aaargh! She is currently buying me a new one. LOL!
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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