The Diary of Queen Mothy |
The Essence of Life Flowing Through Time and Change written @ 3:24 PM on October 06, 2002 I think some of you now know what I've been dealing with emotionally since moving here, because now you are experiencing them yourselves. You hate lonliness and yet the silence is sublime. You have clicked with few people beyond your familiar circle, and you're not sure where you stand socially anymore. And nor are you sure whether or not you care. The only things that are real for you now are the conflicts, the work which you may begin to crave just so you can forget the conflict, and, of course change. If you've read my entry from yesterday, you would see the workings of an artist at play with her homework. After reading Christine's, Jessica's, and even Ryan's entries, painting the theme of change seems even more appropriate and profound. As a human being, I have realized that my strongest virtue is that not once have I forgotten who I am, even though I may be weary of myself. I support you all in whatever you do, and I see legitimacy behind all your choices, but please do not forget yourselves. I, a loner by nature, have chosen you all as my friends and companions for this life because of who you are. Even so, I accept change and the fact that you are all experiencing a violent change, and when we see each other at Christmas-- hopefully-- we will not be speaking to the same people we knew. I spoke to Sean last night for the first time in two, three months. He has changed. And yet, though the fool will not know it consciously, he still knows who he is. He passed basic training. He's in what the Army calls phase four. But he cannot move onto phase five because something is wrong with the muscles in his legs, and he has to have X-rays done this week. He seems to like Phoenix, Arizona, and he noted how he and one other guy from our senior class were the only ones that went through with their plans for the Army. I thought that showed, at last, what character Sean really has that none of us have seen before. He's still with Summer. He's ready to pick out The Ring for her. At least he still "knows" he's a fool. You all should have seen me coming out of Lowe's today carrying the two 2x4 ft plywood I intend to use for my latest masterpiece, titled "The Essence of Life Flowing Through Time and Change." Wait until you all see it. I will send you pictures. Only problem is that I only have three weeks to do it. But this painting, I hope, will do for you what words can't. I have to begin it now. But bottom line, you know what my number is. And I am coming home this weekend for my fall break.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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