The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Trail Blazers written @ 5:24 PM on July 04, 2004 I was eavesdropping on one of Mom's many conversations with my chatty, ever-so-spunky grandmother on Friday, and I managed to overhear that my parents' final court hearing is August 12... So today I went into my genealogy database and recorded that date, and prayed to my better angels (in vain, I'm sure) that God Almighty would stop that date from happening. But what will be will be. Whatever happens will happen. I'm through with it getting me down. I'm done with mourning. There's more to life than the failures of my ancestors, and their failures will not reflect on the actions of my life. So there. It's kind of odd that their divorce date falls on the 12th. Not only is that date a week before the disaster that was Pompeii occurred around 73 AD (or was it 75 AD?), it's also two days before the anniversary of my other matriarchal grandmother's death. I wonder if that means anything (other than the fact that she'll still be rolling over in her grave). It'll be the eighth-year anniversary to be exact. But like a lot of things in life, it hasn't seemed as long. Anyway, the other day I was coming off the exit to the highway and got stopped at the red light. In front of me there was a nice-looking car that the over-50 crowd tends to buy, with a bumper sticker that read, "U Can't B Both Catholic and Pro-Choice." Naturally, I became unsettled, because I am both Catholic and pro-choice (with limitations) and I hate it when right-wing Roman Catholics begin telling other Catholics how to live. The Greek Catholics don't do that much (at least to my knowledge), but Romans will forever be Romans-- stubborn, unyielding, and very much presuming to be "the authority." The light turned green and I continued to follow the elderly couple in front of me onto Cin-Day Road. I got to thinking: what is the point in trying to justify my religious beliefs to others of my own religion who are not tolerant, dare not entertain ideas outside the realms of their own little worlds, and who strongly believe that-- one way or another-- everyone else is going to hell? What was the point in arguing with my religion teachers when I was in junior high about the finer points of the catechism? Why in the hell should I have to tolerate the belittlement of my political opinions by my fellow Roman Catholics? You have been forewarned; I am about to make sweeping generalizations: I have come to the conclusion that modern Roman Catholics are mean. They are presumptive. They are arrogant (but so are a lot of denominations). God forbid they should question the church leaders. God forbid they should disagree with a point or two on the catechism. Next time I see someone with a bumper sticker like that, I'm going to honk my horn at them and show them my own sticker: GOD Deliver Me From Your Followers. I think I've finally come to the point in my life where I can admit that I am dissatisfied and disillusioned with the Catholic faith. I thank the church for getting me this far; the times were grand. But I think I'm going non-denominational from now on. Not fundamental, mind you, non-denominational. I began practicing saying that yesterday, "I think I'm non-denominational. I am liberal. I can vote for whoever the hell I want without thinking I'm going to hell." It's a lot easier to think without feeling guilty for thinking. I finally told my mother about what I'm thinking today. She looked at me funny and said, "Why do you want to convert?" "Because none of it makes sense or sits well with me anymore." She shrugged her shoulders. "Okay. It's up to you. And what are you going to be?" "Non-denominational. Mom, I don't know if I'm going to do this. It's only something I'm thinking about. According to the right-wingers, I can't be a Catholic anymore. But I don't agree with the Protestants either. I'm stuck. I don't have a problem with God, I have issues with people's interpretation of God. This is modern religious persecution! Therefore, I think that in addition to being a political fence-sitter, I'm going to be a religious one too. The non-denominational people that I've met don't seem to have a bone with anyone." "Hey, it's your choice," she said, and that was all she said. My mom still surprises me. I was thinking about this important decision as I was lying in bed last night. I realized it would be so much easier just to forget the world's crazy ideas, stop thinking about it, just accept one religion or the other without question, and go with the flow. It would be so much easier to believe that everyone else is going to hell. But you know something? Every religion is right. And every religion is wrong. People will tell you, "No. There is only One Way." Why? Why only one? Look, we are all trying to get to the Promised Land, but there will always be more than one mountain pass to get to it from. Why? Because in addition to taking the mountain pass thousands before you have taken, there will always be a few trail blazers making new paths for others coming from a different direction. And that's that.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
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