The Diary of Queen Mothy |
Off Balance written @ 6:01 PM on May 07, 2002 Oddly enough, I am a little disillusioned with life. This realization hit me at the end of the day today as I was going to my locker. I can't exactly explain why, but part of it has to do with how I see the world as an artist, the fact that most things this year did not go according to my plans, and the realization that I spend the good part of the day on my own without friends. Yeah. It took until May to figure this out. Just a case of the blues? I'm not sure. Disillusionment seems like the best word right now. With twelve days left of school, I've declared mutiny on my classes. I only care about world history, my AP Art exam, and maybe journalism. Forget about family relationships in health, forget about my theater teacher, aka The Queen of the Mood Swing, forget about those damned running streams of geology. Truly, I don't care anymore. I just want to graduate. This was a rough year. With all this whining said, I also came to the conclusion that if I were given a chance to live my life over again, I would not do it. My faults and my virtues, my failures and my triumphs define who I am. And if I were to change just a little of that, I would be on unstable ground. Self-actualization is probably the most important developmentary stage a person can cross over to. I'm not saying my life is complete and it's all happy-go-lucky from here, it's just that I've accepted myself, I suppose, at long last. Now, if only I wasn't disillusioned. Of course, if I was disillusioned, does that mean I have not attained self-actualization? What a paradox my life is becoming! I can feel myself heading down a dark path. Something is about to happen; I can feel it in the back of my mind and in the stormy Ohio skies. Something seems wrong.
A Bit of History ~ And Onward! L'Amour Toujours! - August 08, 2005 |
Latest Entry | Archives | Diaryland |
Profile | Diaryrings | |
Guestbook | E-mail Me | Leave a note |
Art Work (Coming Soon) | Genealogy (Coming Soon) | The-Last-Unicorn.net |